Melvin

Melvin is a huge freaking tool that nobody likes. He often sits on his computer claiming how awesome he is on the internet or looking at naughty pictures of the various monster girls whose boobies he will never be able to touch.

His stats are so low they are immesureable, and his traits include being a huge freaking tool, having more acne than Pimpley Pete, being uglier than an orc and smellier than a mule. He also wears the same Pank Rok shirt everyday, and it is covered in more curry stains than Mister Lister SIRS dirtiest shirt.

In real life he is a pimply faced, redheaded child of a woman butcher. She trys her hardest to do whats best for him, but hes usually too far gone for her influence to work. He often wanders the village of dirt roads and thatched roofs looking for girls to stare at. Mostly he just stares at dogs though, for whatever creepy unknown reason.

He is the laughing stock of both the internet and the real world. His classmates and teachers hate him, his father disowned him long ago and his pet cat ran away.

Please spit on Melvin if you see him, I hear he's really into that.