Gun Samurai

The Gun Samurai are an order of gun-wielding samurai based in the Tsunemoto forests. The strictly follow the Code of the Samurai from Feudal Japan and are fierce combatants.

Origins: The Rise and Fall of the First Gun Samurai
The Order of the Gun-Samurai was founded in the year 666 in an attempt to fight the forces of Hell. It consisted of 4 19 year old virgins who really dug anime and watched a ton of GP. There are some who believe that one of them is an ancestor of Melvin. On the first day of the attack from Hell, the Gun-Samurai successfully defended their dorm room from the demons. Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) due the extreme seductiveness of the Succubi, three of the Gun-Samurai started sexing up demons instead of killing them. One Samurai, probably the uglier one, held on to his virginity as long as he could. He took his copy of the Dungeons and Dagrons Dungeon Master's Guide and wrote down the Creed of the Gun Samurai in the Notes section. Then he went out into the Courtyard and buried it, where he encountered seven incredibly hot Succubbi. Just like everyone else, he was never heard from again.

Origins 2.0: The Rise of the New Gun Samurai
Some time in the year 7,986, when a young man named Tsunetomo was digging in the courtyard of his college for absolutely no good reason. He was probably burying a hooker, but that's besides the point. What matters is, he came across a copy of the Dungeons and Dagrons Dungeon Masters Guide, first edition. 4 years had passed since D&D was declared Satanic and all copies were burned. Finding a first edition book, which was over 7,000 years old, was an extremely rare find. I mean so ridiculously rare that the fact it happened was fucking impossible and should not have happened. BUT IT DID.

Tsunetomo immediately took it back to his dorm and read the book cover to cover. He was about to get pissed about how the rules barely changed between the 1st and 801st Editions when he came across the Notes section. In the Notes he found the Creed of the Gun Samurai, and thought it was pretty rad. Finally, after five years of hiding the book from police, Tsunetomo got his chance to create the New Order. He and some of his close friends gathered enough support to create a small army of Gun Samurai on the campus. When the police finally busted in to search for the book, they met an army of angsty college kids ages 18-25 that really wanted to fight cops and fuck each other. Most of the "Samurai" were hung over, but after about 30 minutes they prevailed when the police started throwing up from the putrid smell of college dorm rooms.

Tsunetomo claimed the campus in the name of the New Gun Samurai. In the last 1000 or so years, the Gun Samurai have evolved greatly. What was once a couple hundred horny college kids became an honorable warrior society by the year 8,682. The college campus has since become the Temple of the Gun Samurai and is incredibly beautiful, though that nasty dorm room smell still lingers in some places. Amazing forests, known as the Tsunetomo forests, grew around the Temple. A village, also called Tsunetomo, was built just South of the Temple. The D&D book, known by the Samurai as both "The Book of the Creed" and "The D&D Book, I Guess" was protected in the Tomb of the Book by the Master of the Gun Samurai until the death of Master Yamamoto, after which Djang0 the Exile carried the book with him.

War with the Quishó War Conglomerate
In 8551, the Quishó War Conglomerate was formed by Quishó, a monster of the worst kind. Well, worst before Ugly Bitches. He gathered an army of monsters and declared war on the Gun Samurai, and never gave a reason for it besides "for teh lolz n teh bitchez." For almost 500 years, the war raged across the Tsunetomo forests and the surrounding plains. The Gun Samurai held their ground, but the Quishó constantly found new recruits in the monsters that populate the Whiki. The Gun Samurai were bound to lose eventually.

Sacking of the Temple
In 8992, Quorshleq, Champion of the Quishó, staged an attack on the Temple. In a seven day last stand, the Gun Samurai fought the Quishó until the very end. At last, Quorshleq tore off Master Yamamoto's head with his bear hands and declared himself ruler of Tsunetomo. For three years, Quorshleq held Tsunetomo with an iron claw. He enslaved the village, and his soldiers murdered dozens of innocents and Samurai alike. His rule stood unchallenged until Jay, his personal slave, broke free and started the Gun Samurai Rebellion. In 8996, Jay and his rebels overthrew Quorshleq and drove him into the deserts, where they believed he had died of exhaustion.

Final Battle
In reality, Quorshleq and his troops had invaded another city populated entirely by monsterpeople. There he healed his wounds and prepared his army for another strike on the Samurai Temple. The Gun Samurai remained oblivious until Kira, a catgirl slave, escaped Quorshleq and ran to the Temple, where she pleaded for help. The Gun Samurai, still recovering from the Occupation, refused to assist. However, young Gun Samurai Django, formerly Jay, disobeyed the Council and ran of with Kira to save her city.

While resting at the Town of Dirt Roads and Thatched Roofs, Django climbed Mount Tallashan, where the God Fourwind imbued him with powers of insanity. After totally banging Kira, Django and the catgirl arrived at her city to fight Quorshleq. The battle was long, and Quorshleq was defeated, but Django had sacrificed most of the city and his sanity to do it. He was exiled from the Gun Samurai as punishment for his actions. Despite this, Quorshleq and the Quishó had been defated, and the Gun Samurai had won the war.

Today (9001)
Today, the Gun Samurai have lessened their seclusion and opened trade with the outside world. Django the Exile has since become the Master of the Gun Samurai and Keeper of the Creed, though he rarely visists the Temple or participates in Gun Samurai matters. Some Gun Samurai have become Bounty Hunters, hunting down dagrons and other monsters in exchanged for Apple Beer. That shit is to die for.

The Creed of the Gun Samurai
The Creed has evolved over the last 9000 years, however some of it has stayed the same. Below is a comparison of the original and modern Creeds.

Notable Gun-Samurai
-Djang0 the Exile [Demigod]